Get ready for the 2011 South Bay Santa Con!
Saturday, December 17th starting at 4pm, we'll gather at Tao Tao in Sunnyvale (175 S. Murphy Ave).
From there, we will be proceeding via Santa's sleigh (a/k/a CalTrain)
to spread lots o’ Christmas cheer up and down the Peninsula!
Last year about 70 Santas started out in San Jose, partied with a few drag queens, then rode the Light Rail to Campbell … Singing our carols while waiting for the train, we thrilled revelers (and scared children, who just knew there wasn’t supposed to be more than one Santa!) We paraded up Campbell Avenue to Sonoma Chicken Coop, disrupting a family dinner or two, before heading to Katie Bloom's, Khartoum and Cardiff.
This year we're north-bound, to make sure we have more room to gather together all the Santas, Mrs. Clauses, reindeer, elves, snowmen and carolers who want to join in the fun. The route is being planned, and if you want to hear about the
super-secret details be sure to RSVP to southbay@burningman.com
with the subject, “SantaCon” and stay tuned here and on the twitter site at http://www.twitter.com/southbayburners
What is SantaCon?
SantaCon takes place in major cities all over the
world involving tens of thousands of Santas. It is a
non-profit, non-political, non-religious & non-sensical
celebration of holiday cheer, goodwill, and fun. There is no good reason to
dress up in cheap Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have
strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice -- but it's a lot
of fun -- so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves
everyone! SantaCon is your chance to be Santa, so
step up and be jolly.
Santa's Rules:
Be Jolly.
Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy
a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any
money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times
and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it
purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare
parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past
examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty
little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus,
snowman, nutcracker, reindeer.
Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting
arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with
cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, bouncers, and store
owners and doesn't break any laws!!! "Disorderly Conduct" is not a
city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T F*CK IT UP FOR THE
REST OF US! Our Santas do not destroy property, steal
merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually
take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to
them.
Santa's Reminders:
The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all
times. There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start,
get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later, or follow southbayburners on twitter.
Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to
abuse their parents.)
Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas
wear layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Christmas carols in
the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.
Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE
stuff to give kids.
Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they
vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa!
Pay your own god damn bar tab. Better yet, carry cash and pay for everything
right away -- that way 300 santas aren't trying to
close out a tab at the same time when we leave. Tip the bartenders generously
for putting up with us.
Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:
Who's in charge? "Santa"
What organization are you with? "Santa"
What are you protesting? "Lame-o holiday parties"
(note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something
serious to complain about...)
How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this
hat and buy me a beer."
Any other question: "HO!" (best coupled with
a slight pause and a stupid look on your face).